AAA Super Glue for Your Marriage
Updated: Feb 19
Super Glue is an awesome invention everyone needs in their house. It’s on the Mount Rushmore of must-have fix-it tools for guys. Duct Tape, WD-40, Super Glue, Hammer, Screwdriver.
Super Glue is fast, secure, and well…Super.
In the Lego Movie, super glue was the enemy. You see, Legos are designed to come apart and reconfigured to make different creations. Marriage is different. Marriage is designed to connect and stay connected.
Great marriages strengthen over time through a commitment to togetherness.
But you’re not perfect and life happens.
Your marriage may feel disconnected with pieces chipped off and broken. Conflict can lead to emotional injuries, cracks in your connection. Other times connection simply wears down. The rains of life pound down and before you know it you’ve drifted apart.
Your marriage needs repair; a quick fix to rebuild connection.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could increase connection with your spouse super-fast?
Introducing, AAA Super Glue for your Marriage. It’s fast, secure, and super. And they all start with A, clever, I know.
Appreciating your spouse and communicating it well is a huge predictor of happiness in marriage. Appreciation is a universal desire in close relationships but sadly it’s lacking in many marriages. Lazy people think “I don’t have to tell her I appreciate her, she knows it already” and they miss out on the power of appreciation. Expressing appreciation for your spouse fixes the connection eroded by the irritations and conflict that sneak into your relationship. Appreciation bonds partners together.
To practice appreciation today, tell your spouse three specific things you love about them. Telling them they are a snappy dresser is nice but I challenge you to go beyond surface level observations. Please don’t use this activity to sarcastically comment “wowie, I noticed you stacked all the dishes in the sink last week, that was sure awesome of you, way to go above and beyond in this relationship.” Express your appreciation for them on a deeper level. Share what’s attractive about their personality or how you’ve noticed them doing something you love.
Have you watched a young couple lately? Young dating couples have a certain way they interact with each other. I call it animated closeness. They look at each other when talking; they stay close and often hold hands. They are affectionate. Elderly couples do this well too. Older couples who show affection for one another inspire me with their sweet confident closeness. The couples in the middle have a harder time with affection. Yes we are busy with careers, children, cars, and critters, all important responsibilities. But when we abandon affection we weaken connection. The great news is; it doesn’t take long to infuse affection into your marriage. And you’ll see the benefits immediately. Physical togetherness promotes emotional closeness.
To practice affection today, touch your spouse. Sit close to them with a flirtatious smile. Give them a kiss and hold their hand. Think about your dating days and how you acted toward each other. Don’t worry if your kids think it’s silly, it’s good for them to see you showing affection. It provides security knowing their parents love each other and it models appropriate affection as they explore what it means to be in relationship.
Living without awareness is like talking on the phone after the call was dropped. You’re going through the motions of marriage but you don’t even know if you’re connected. First become aware of your emotions. The better you understand yourself and your reactions the better you can connect with your spouse. Next, pay attention to what is going on emotionally for your spouse. Become a student of your spouse and really listen to them. If your spouse is angry help them vent. If they’re sad, allow them to cry and comfort them. If they’re exhausted, take a deep breath together and find ways to give them a break.
To practice awareness today, ask your spouse what they are feeling. If your spouse is not used to talking about feelings ask them what has them stressed today. Then listen. You’ll need to put your phone away and focus on listening to your spouse. Listening is not a passive activity like watching TV. Then listen without judging or thinking of how to respond. Once they are able to share their heart, thank them and tell them you are working on becoming more aware of what’s going on in their heart.
No matter what is broken in your relationship appreciation, affection, and awareness will help you reconnect quickly and securely. Now that’s super!
I can’t wait to hear what happened in your relationship when you applied AAA Super Glue today.