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  • Writer's pictureBrian Lindner

The 10 Commandments for Couples

Updated: Mar 3, 2021

happy couple

Wouldn’t it be great if we had a list of instructions for great marriages? Maybe a top ten list would do the trick. But it would have to be written by an authority, someone who knows about people and marriage. A real expert who has helped couples not only survive marriage but thrive and build a wonderful marriage.

In my research I found the perfect list written by the perfect author.

The 10 Commandments as given to Moses by God. (Deuteronomy 5:3)

  1. You must have no other gods before me.

  2. Do not make an idol for yourself-no form whatsoever-of anything in the sky or above or on the earth below or in the waters under the earth.

  3. Do not use the LORD your God’s name as if it were of no significance.

  4. Keep the Sabbath day and treat it as holy.

  5. Honor your father and your mother so your life will be long and so that things will go well for you.

  6. Do not murder.

  7. Do not commit adultery.

  8. Do not steal.

  9. Do not testify falsely.

  10. Do not desire and try to take your neighbor’s wife.

Given that God is the ultimate authority and truly loves you, I’d stick to His top ten.

As a marriage blogger I adapted the Ten Commandments slightly to show how they help us love our spouse and enjoy a wonderful marriage.

The 10 Commandments for couples

  1. Keep God number one in your life, like he says, but put your spouse before all the other people in your life. Yes, even kids.

  2. Don’t let anything replace a real face-to-face relationship with your spouse. Texting each other can be sweet but technology can never duplicate true connection.

  3. Do not discard marriage as insignificant.

  4. Take time to relax and have fun together. Stop being so busy and slow down enough to enjoy each other.

  5. Be nice to your in-laws and your marriage will be long and life will go well for you.

  6. Build up your spouse. Don’t kill their spirit by complaining or criticizing.

  7. Do not commit adultery. It seems pretty basic but adultery destroys marriages every day.

  8. Don’t be selfish. Your marriage will suffocate if you make it all about you and your needs.

  9. Don’t lie. Honesty is the best policy in marriage. Lying always destroys trust in relationships.

  10. Desiring something that’s not for you will harm your marriage. Stay away from pornography. It robs you of true intimacy. The verse in the Bible goes on to say do not crave anything that belongs to your neighbor. Focus on your own marriage and count your blessings rather than compare yourself to others.

When God gave the Ten Commandments to Moses it was not a drop the mic moment where God delivered his commands and left the stage. It was only a part of the ongoing story of God redeeming his people and showing them how to live to the fullest. Likewise, the ten commandments for couples should be viewed as a springboard for relationship. The real beauty of a wonderful marriage is the connection built between lovers who love each other to the fullest.

On a scale of 1-10 how are you doing at following The 10 Commandments for Couples?


(Scripture references taken from the Common English Bible translation)

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