Dishonesty.
It sounds like a no brainer but dishonesty can sneak into even the most solid marriages. It starts when you want to prevent conflict, which is generally a good idea. The desire to prevent the negative feeling of conflict is so strong you justify stretching the truth. You end up developing a pattern of withholding information which seems ok because you have prevented conflict, until your dishonesty comes crashing down demolishing trust.
Criticism.
We’ve all heard couples who constantly berate each other and wonder why they stay together but criticism is subtle too. Your offhand comment about the laundry or the bills hurt more than your spouse let on. For some couples criticism is direct and burns hot, for others it’s passive aggressive and festers under the surface.
Just getting by.
So your communication isn’t perfect, but it’s not terrible either. Congratulations, you have a normal marriage. You’re living life as it comes wishing your marriage was exciting and meaningful but simply getting by day to day. You may wonder what your partner is thinking or why they are withdrawn or angry all the time. You fight from time to time, which you hate, but then things seem a bit better and you continue on until the next painful argument.
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