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  • Writer's pictureBrian Lindner

Advanced Skill Challenge: The #1 way to transform your marriage

Updated: Mar 3, 2021

Copyright: pixelsaway / 123RF Stock Photo

Yep. The number one way to transform your marriage is to give thanks.

If you desire deeper connection in your marriage, you can reach it. True transformation is possible.

Keep reading.

One of my favorite Thanksgiving family traditions is sharing what we are thankful for. While the smell of turkey and pumpkin pie is wafting through the house tempting our taste buds, we sit down for our Thanksgiving meal. Before we dive into the mashed potatoes and gravy we pause to share what we are thankful for. It’s a great way to start off the meal and the entire holiday season. We reflect on our blessings and express our thanks. Often we thank God who is our provider but we also thank each other for their unique contribution to our life.

It’s pretty simple really, nothing elegant or theatrical, profound in simplicity, meaningful in togetherness.

In our premarital counseling with pastor Hal Perkins, he challenged us to each day give thanks to God for the blessing of each other. That sounded pretty easy, besides we were enamored with each other; our wedding was only a few weeks away. Of course we could give thanks for each other; we enthusiastically agreed to his challenge. Then he added the words that changed everything.

Out loud.

In the years since we have found giving thanks for each other out loud changes it from easy to do and easy to forget, to an advanced relationship skill requiring intentional effort.

Are you up to the challenge? It’s pretty simple really, nothing elegant or theatrical, but it will deepen your connection and transform your marriage.

  1. Daily express thanks for your spouse out loud, to each other.

  2. Say it even when you don’t feel it. It sounds counterintuitive but it is the secret formula of successful connection. When you say it out loud, it comes true. When you say out loud “I’m thankful for you today” you actually BECOME more thankful for them.

It’s good for your spouse to hear from you. It’s even better for you to hear yourself say it to them.

Making thankfulness a part of your marriage is a great way to Make some Wonderful in your marriage all year long. Pausing to give thanks for the blessing of your spouse will provide a healthy foundation for The Best Holidays Ever.

Did you accept the give thanks challenge?

To discover more ways to deepen the connection with your spouse this holiday season check out my e-book.

It details the top six causes of conflict in marriage and how you can move toward connection. (No surprise, giving thanks is a big part of having The Best Holidays Ever!) Download it now to see my practical tips to integrate thanksgiving into all of your holiday celebrations.

Your Guide to The Best Holidays Ever: How to move from conflict to connection in your marriage this holiday season is still available as an ebook for your convenience.

In The Best Holidays Ever you will receive detailed step-by-step ways to reduce conflict and build real connection with your spouse. Making deeper connection with your spouse will be your favorite and most cherished gift this holiday season.

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