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  • Writer's pictureBrian Lindner

Be happy AND stay married

Updated: Mar 3, 2021

Many things in life are posed as an either or proposition. Paper OR plastic, boxers OR briefs, be a good parent OR go to work, be content OR be successful.

At times when life is especially stressful it may feel like you can only be a great parent OR a great spouse. Then when things really hit the fan it may feel like you have to choose to either be happy OR be married.

I like the Coke Zero commercial that emphasizes AND. The commercial shows a young man in a less than ideal situation, then he asks for something AND something else, the more he asks AND? The better things get for him.

My son, like all toddlers, asked Why? constantly. When he tired of that, he changed it slightly to And?

Dad: Finish your lunch please.

Son: And?

Dad: When you finish your lunch you can have a piece of candy

Son: And?

Dad: And you can have an apple if you want

Son: And?

Dad: And then lunch will be over

Son: And?

Dad: I see what you are up to

Son: And?

Dad: And I love you

Son: And?

The sequence continues until I teasingly call him ANDy and start a tickle fight.

A recent Ford commercial highlights the silliness of having only one option. Bottom line, AND is better.

Too many times in life we believe we only have the option to have one thing or another. Our thinking is limited to polar opposite options. Conservative or liberal, pro this or con that. Thinking only black OR white is an option ends in vilifying others, discontentment and fear.

Consider adding AND to your thinking and your life. It’s not inconsistent or waffling, it’s having both. Become ANDy in your marriage and you can:

Be content AND strive for excellence. Save money AND live extravagantly. Love your spouse AND your kids.

Have a successful career AND be a good parent. Like football AND the orchestra. Be happy AND stay married.

Bonus Make some Wonderful Marriage tip: Discuss this post with your spouse AND start a tickle fight with them tonight.

Please share the things you have said AND to in your life.

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