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  • Writer's pictureBrian Lindner

Free Fashion Tip for Couples: Extreme Matching

Updated: Mar 3, 2021



I was cruising Twitter and I came across the unbelievable story of Mr. and Mrs. Fetherstone.

Every day for the last 35 years they have worn matching clothes. Click here to read their story and to see more pictures of their outfits.

I’m speechless.

Thirty-five years of matching clothes every day? Wow. For most couples, matching one or two times in 35 years would be embarrassing enough.

I shake my head in unbelief but I admire them.

They are happy together.

They have embraced an identity of togetherness.

For a better connection in your marriage cultivate an identity of togetherness. Don’t worry, it’s not necessary for you to wear matching clothes. Besides, the only people who should be allowed to wear matching clothes are identical twins under the age of five.

When you daily cultivate an identity of togetherness you will increase your experience of cohesion and happiness in your marriage. You will notice the benefits and others will notice (even if you don’t wear matching clothes) by the words you use with each other and body language displayed when you are together.

To cultivate an identity of togetherness:

  1. Consider each other when making decisions. When you identify as together, checking with your spouse before making a major decision is not a sign of control but of respect.

  2. Participate in activities you enjoy together. Shared activities improve connection in marriage. 

  3. Use together language. Say “us” and “our” rather than “me” and “mine.” It’s a subtle change that can make a huge difference.

Doing everything together is not required for great connection. Liking only the same things often ends up suffocating connection.

It’s good for marriage for you and your spouse to have separate interests. For example, I like football more than my wife does and she likes pedicures more than I do. Pursuing and enjoying different activities is healthy for individuals and marriage as long as opportunities for connection are not neglected.

When I heard of the Fetherstones, I thought they had to be the only couple in the history of the world to wear matching clothes on a daily basis for 35 years. Then I found Joey and Mel Schwanke have a similar commitment to wearing matching clothes. Click here to read their story.

Free marital fashion tip: If you find yourself in a fabric store and come across an extreme floral pattern, don’t resist the urge for matching outfits, make something nice and start your own daily habit. If you prefer you can find a different way, maybe matching hairstyles or phone ringtones, could do the trick.

How ever you commit to daily increase feelings of togetherness, the benefits will last at least the next 35 years.

What fashion tips do you have for a great marriage?

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