I bit my cheek the other day. I immediately thought to myself “well, that didn’t hurt too bad.” You see, I’m pretty tough, no little cheek bite is going to take me out. Then it happened again when I least expected it. Ouch. Then again, a few days later. Man did it hurt. The more I bit it, the more it swelled up, until it was an unavoidable lump. Ouch, ouch, ouch.
Disagreements are like that in marriage. No big deal, what’s a little spat anyway? It’s true, to a point, your marriage will not be taken out over one little disagreement. But watch out, forget to allow for healing and it won’t be long until that same spot gets crunched again. And again. Some couples fight about the same thing so often they are raw from the repeated injuries. Fights become unavoidable and increasingly painful.
The good news is your marriage can heal. The pain will go away but you have to stop the biting and fighting for a while. Slow down and take an injury time-out. Discussions are possible without hurting each other but it takes effort. After the new injuries have stopped, seek forgiveness for the pain you caused. When you intentionally heal past hurts, rather than continuing to chew on them, marriage feels better. What sore spots do you keep biting in your marriage?