The Day Our Son Zoomed Into the Street
Updated: Feb 19, 2021
I remember the day like it was yesterday.
The blue sky contained only wisps of white clouds. The late morning sun gave the promise of afternoon warmth although the air still felt a bit cool. Our boys eager to play outside pulled their bicycles out of haphazard pile in the corner of the garage. They smile the biggest when riding their bikes and that day was a picture perfect morning for a ride. With a reminder, each put on their helmet careful not to pinch their chin with the clasp.
Both boys ride confidently riding up and down the sidewalk in front of our house and make countless circles in the driveway.
Hollie and I love watching our boys ride, the older with a helmet hand-painted blue to match his bike and the younger following close behind his brother peddling his spiderman bike. We typically stay close by while they ride, often sitting on our small porch checking email or tinkering in the garage as the boys zoom by.
Then our six year old ventured into the street.
At first he simply made a larger turns veering slightly into the street. We praised his adventuresome spirit but warned him not to go too far into the street.
I’m not sure what Hollie and I were doing exactly, where we went or what distracted us. Perhaps we were reading another email, remembered the laundry needed to be put in the dryer, or decided to go in the backyard to water the garden. We didn’t think anything about it at the time.
As his younger brother watched, our six year old lined up his bike in the garage pointing toward the street. He took off pedaling hard with his head down just as a white Toyota Camry rounded the corner near our neighbor’s house.
Our son in his hand-painted blue helmet quickly covered the distance of the driveway.
I happened to look up from what I was doing.
At the last second he turned, entering the street only by a few feet then circled back up into the driveway.
The car slowed and carefully passed.
Your marriage is like our boys, fun, adventurous, and precious beyond measure.
Please take special care to protect your marriage.
Pain and destruction are coming down the street faster than you realize. Evil seeks to destroy you. Suffering and even death is possible for your marriage when you ignore the oncoming danger.
I try to keep a positive and encouraging tone most of the time. But I’m tired of you acting so careless about your marriage.
Stop pretending your marriage is fine when you are cruising through life head down.
I don’t know what marriage killer is coming down the street toward your marriage. It could be addiction, pornography, unfaithfulness, unresolved conflict, selfishness, complacency, or dishonesty.
As a marriage counselor I feel like an emergency room doctor witnessing the devastating results of careless couples running toward destruction. I’ve seen the destruction of families and it’s likely you have too.
Please don’t let the fact that your marriage hasn’t been bloodied by a Mack truck lull you into believing you are invincible.
We were fortunate our son didn’t get hit by a car that day. The close call motivates us to persist in teaching him how to safely have fun riding his bike.
Prevention doesn’t feel sexy or exciting. Preventing harm doesn’t seem to contain the same heroics as life flights or emergency surgery but I’d rather see my son’s smiling face in front of my house than the heroics of a paramedic.
I’m not recommending you become paranoid and overreact to every slight misstep. You’ll suffocate your connection. But the laissez faire way you attend to your marriage will lead to pain.
Pay attention to events and attitudes which threaten to destroy your connection.
Some threats are as obvious and destructive as an 18 wheeler rumbling down the street. For example: pornography, addiction, or infidelity. Other threats arrive with less warning and leave serious scars. For example: unresolved money fights, schedules too busy for each other, or criticism.
Look up and turn away from the danger coming toward your marriage. Do it now before it’s too late. Your marriage is precious and worth protecting.
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